Introvert/Extrovert
When Carl Jung came up the terms introvert and extrovert, he believed that we all fall somewhere nearer to the middle between the two than on the extreme ends. He famously said that there is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert and that such a person “would be in the lunatic asylum.”
However, there are significant difference between the two personality styles, and those differences can be explained simply in terms of how each derives energy. Introverts tend to lose energy from being around people for long periods of time, particularly large crowds, and they tend to recharge by spending time alone. On the other hand, extroverts tend to gain energy from other people. They lose energy from spending too much time alone, and they recharge by being social.
Viewed this way, you can see that these designations have nothing to do with social ability. Just because a person is introverted, it doesn’t mean that person is shy, or anti-social, or lacks social skills. In fact, all humans are social creatures who absolutely need social groups to flourish, including introverts.
When it comes to making personal connections with family and friends and when it comes to professional advancement – whether it’s going after a promotion, starting up a business, growing an existing business, or looking for a great new job – we all need social groups to flourish.
So, while it’s especially important for introverts to consider the following advice, it’s actually meant for extroverts to use as well because everyone, no matter their personality style, can find it challenging to network. And everyone has the same purpose, which is to build relationships.
3 Tips For Networking With Ease
1. Motivation
For networking to feel natural rather than forced and uncomfortable, it’s a good idea to figure out what motivates you. Maybe it’s a love of learning, and you’ll want to go to professional or personal events, conferences, programs, etc. with other people who are gathering together to learn something. Or maybe you’ll be more likely to show up to an organization’s events, conferences, programs, etc. if you volunteer to help manage the organization and their events. Getting involved could mean volunteering with an existing group, or it could mean starting or co-founding a new group with a mission or cause that you care about, and, therefore, drawing like-minded people to network with along the way.
If you’re an introvert, you’re probably not motivated by pure social reasons to go mix and mingle with a group of people, especially people you’ve never met before. So, there needs to be another motivator. And if you’re an extrovert who loves constant interactions with others, you’ll still care about how to wisely spend your available time and energy. So, figure out what motivates you to want to get out there and network naturally.
2. Let Them Go First
When meeting new people, try asking about them first before you talk about yourself. You won’t feel as self-conscious when it’s your turn. Your goal is to find out something about them that you can mutually discuss. When you have something in common with the other person, it’s easier to develop the relationship from there.
Need an ice breaker? Ask them about a great movie they’ve seen lately. It’s a lot better and far more interesting than the weather… unless, of course, the weather has been unusual and, therefore, conversation-worthy!
And by the way, letting others talk about themselves first usually comes easily to introverts. Lean into and use this as a strength in networking if you’re an introvert. If you’re an extrovert, then this is a great way for you to show off your empathy and caring. Others feel respected and cared about when you ask them to talk about themselves first.
3. Relax
Ultimately, the best tip for networking with ease is to know and accept that when it comes to networking, nothing can be forced and that it’s all pretty ambiguous. Everything happens on its own time and in its own way. While it’s possible for you could go out into your network and get exactly what you expect, it’s highly unlikely that your efforts will bring the exact results you envision. Networking does not follow a straight line, so it’s best to relax and let go of expectations and planned outcomes. Like everything to do with human relationships, it’s pretty unpredictable.
The best way to network with ease is to have an open mind, have an open heart, and go with the flow. Go in with the idea that you’re going to make friends and occasionally exchange crucial information that could lead to something useful.
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Interested in learning more about introverts and extroverts? There are many great resources out there, but a good starting place is the article, Extroverts, Introverts, and Everything in Between, and the website, Introvert, Dear.