In November 2010, I presented a workshop during the Executive Women in Texas Government conference in Bastrop, Texas. I was paid in kind by the association with a wonderful luncheon and was able to attend 2 workshops given by other presenters. I was particularly impressed with Marny Lifshen, co-author of Some Assembly Required: A Networking Guide for Women, and her program, “The Top Ten Mistakes Women Make in Networking.”
While Marny’s observations about the overall differences in the way men and women have traditionally approached networking were spot on, her tips weren’t ALL gender-specific because they were good advice for any networking newbie.
Below are the top ten mistakes Marny pointed out:
#1 Failing to Network “Up” – You need to move away from only networking with peers and reach out and upward to more powerful, more experienced professionals.
#2 Avoiding Taking Professional Risks – You need to stop second-guessing yourself. Risk takers who get ahead in their career don’t think, “I don’t have the experience to volunteer to lead that project.” They say yes with confidence and figure it all out later.
#3 Expecting Hard Work to be Enough – You need to realize that on the surface it might seem like a waste of time to walk the halls making connections with others in your organization, but working hard AND being visible is crucial for career success.
#4 Overpromising and Overdelivering – You need to take risks and step up, but you also need to remember to balance your commitments by saying no when it makes sense. Avoid ruining your reputation – you don’t want to spread yourself too thin and let the quality slip.
#5 Taking Things Too Personally – “Sometimes it’s just business,” Marny said. She warns against not being able to separate the business from the personal. Don’t be too afraid to hurt feelings or too sensitive to receive constructive feedback.
#6 Creating and Maintaining Cliques – Don’t cling to your familiar friends. When you’re networking, you want to mingle and meet new people. If you see a person circling around alone (Marny calls this person a “satellite”), invite him or her into your conversation.
#7 Diminishing the Power of Our Personal Brands – You should become comfortable taking compliments. Don’t constantly apologize for the really small things.
#8 Underestimating the Importance of Appearance – “Deal with the short run and the first impression so you can matter over the long run,” Marny said. She said it’s not just about wearing modern, updated clothes; being well-groomed; and presenting a pleasant physical image of yourself. She said it’s also about your body language and energy.
#9 Not Finding or Becoming a Mentor – Networking is about developing and leveraging relationships. If you want to grow professionally, you need to develop and leverage relationships with seasoned professionals who can help you along. You also need to become one of the seasoned professionals who help those newer to the business world.
#10 Dropping Our Networks When We… – At this point in her presentation Marny said “Dropping Our Networks When We Become Mothers.” She also talked about women she knew who drop out of their networks when they “Get Boyfriends.” For our purposes, I’m inserting the phrase “Get Hired.” It’s hard to build relationships, drop them for whatever reason and then try to build them again when you need them. It’s not only hard, but some in your network might even resent it and label you “user.”
As I mentioned, these networking tips are good for beginning networkers, but they are also very good reminders for those of us who are seasoned at it as well!